"There is no amount of pretty in the world that can cover a venomous heart."

Ah, the irony! Rhonda Huntress said that, and she also said:

http://forums-archive.secondlife.com/327/85/252954/3653.html (The quote in Rio's post, sixth post down.)

http://forums-archive.secondlife.com/327/85/252954/3828.html (Top post.)

Monday, 22 November 2010

My thoughts on misogyny

(Posted in a now deleted thread in the official forums questioning whether misogyny was acceptable)

Since I have an hour or two free this morning, while I wait for BT to make up excuses for not turning up, I thought I would offer a little considered post (not too long, as ARazoz is still lurking in this thread according to recent comments) on my thoughts on misogyny.

Of course it is not acceptable! Over-emotional, irrational bigoted criticism of all the members of a gender group is not allowed by the ToS of these forums, and what is more, is morally indefensible. Nonetheless, rationally argued criticism of the observed behaviour of collections of individuals who have sufficiently similar characteristics that they would appear to represent a gender subgroup, with logically identifiable underlying reasons for that behaviour, is the basis of the scientific method for sociological, psychological and certain neuroscientific studies.

The problem arises, of course, when a representative of the subgroup takes it on themselves to claim that the criticism affects not just the vocal minority, but the whole of their gender. Such self-aggrandisement is not unknown among individuals who perceive themselves as spokesmen for minorities who believe that they are being unfairly discriminated against - take "the BDSM Community" and "Feminist Activists" (No, PLEASE take them!) - much to the discomfiture of potentially more reasonable members of those minorities who grudgingly feel they have to support their sisters and brothers against the oppression of the controlling majority. Naturally, they become tarred with the same brush and the usual result is that schisms develop within those movements, and they end up squabbling among themselves, thereby convincing outsiders that they lack credibility.

I would recommend that those who wish to promote their subgroups (gender defined or otherwise) should desensitise themselves so that they are able to differentiate between valid criticisms of demonstrable characteristics of those subgroups, and bigoted generalisations. They might also do well to develop a sense of proportion as well as a sense of humour, and even a sense of literary history:

Vile and ingrate! too late thou shalt repent
The base Injustice thou hast done my Love:
Yes, thou shalt know, spite of thy past Distress,
And all those Ills which thou so long hast mourn'd;
Heav'n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn'd,
Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn'd.

(Congreve - The Mourning Bride 1697)

Pep (rests for the moment, satisfied.)


  1. Damn! I was just looking at the misogyny thread, going to page 15 to get caught up, and the damn thing got sent to the nexus. Last night I had saved the thread as a PDF, as I saw it being ARed and I should have done that immediately first thing this morning so as to not lose the posts that were made when I was abed. Any chance Pep, or anyone else saved it?

  2. @Derek, I have a PDF 96 pages, posts 1-170 (also saved before bedtime) But not the posts from today.

  3. @Caitlin, I have 110 pages, if you want I will send it to you. A couple of excellent posts by Celestial you might have missed.
    I was hoping to see the posts made today though but I guess they are gone now.
    Seicher it seems was the culprit using Voids name to nuke the thread. ;P

  4. Yes, apparently I decided to get pithy (typing with a lisp now?) right as the death knells were tolling for "misogyny". Since I have a hard time spelling that word, perhaps it isn't such a bad thing.

    1) Pep your longer discourse here was well stated and deserved a longer life. You can frustrate the hell out of me sometimes (and it never works in the reverse, I'm sure) but I have never found you to be a misogynist.
    2) In brief I agreed with Itsuko (???) and Celestial who QFT. I pointed out that Lia started the whole thing, acting exactly as a stereotypical woman scorned. So Pep's use of the phrase was not misogynistic, it was "if the shoe fits wear it." Lia pointed to Pep's history of misogyny and I pointed to her history of bringing inworld perceived slights that should stay private into the public forum. The misogyny thread just further proved Pep's point of her being a rather illogical, petulant, woman scorned.
    3) That the current hypocrisy mongers re: "gender" abuse also chimed in was no surprise but I held my typing fingers silent.
    4) Would someone explain why we need the qualifier "gender" in front of "abuse" as it is totally meaningless and redundant and a few other things.
    5) In my reply to the misogyny thread I repeated what I wrote below to Pep about thinking the posts would have been better served without the remarks.
    6) That being said, watching the idiots come out and frolic in the fields of utter hypocrisy and flowers of ignorance IS amusing.

    ETA: Yes, Derek, it was I who foolishly tried to post to Void this funny picture of an avi self-hanging herself at a concert, who apparently KO'd the thread. Poof! Mid-post.

    4:57 PM, November 22, 2010

  5. @Derek, thanks for the offer, but I was up early enough to read it all, untill it was pulled, just did not think of saving it again. Oh well! I think all was said and it was not getting any prettier...

  6. @Seicher, that bet you had...I suppose you got it correct? I saw the 'expected' reply just before all was nuked?

  7. What???? There was a reply??? I didn't see it! Tell Tell! Pep has it on record what I thought the reply would be!

  8. I received an inworld copy of said response and it was hilarious! I got it spot on. The predictable were predicted! Down to the methods. Although scoring higher points than usual for sounding more convoluted and idiotic than normal.

    And I have also (I'm sure accurately)predicted what the next phase will be. Yawn.

  9. Sorry to have momentarily hijacked your blog, Pep. (grins) Back to our regularly scheduled commenting on misogyny. Where were we? Oh yes, you're not one. Although grumpy. And a guy with a poking-of-fauna stick. (missogenie, is how it should be spelled)