"There is no amount of pretty in the world that can cover a venomous heart."

Ah, the irony! Rhonda Huntress said that, and she also said:

http://forums-archive.secondlife.com/327/85/252954/3653.html (The quote in Rio's post, sixth post down.)

http://forums-archive.secondlife.com/327/85/252954/3828.html (Top post.)

Thursday, 11 November 2010

I just posted this in the official SL forums - they asked "What's your life story?"

I am the lovechild of a researcher for the Oxford English Dictionary and the only remaining male descendent of the Marquis de Sade, handed over at birth to a working class Welsh couple living in the town built around the second largest castle in Europe, with a leaning tower that outdoes Pisa.

My adoptive parents were a miner who missed the Great Senghenydd Mining Disaster of 1913 because, like 85% of the workforce, he was taking a sickie with a hangover that had lasted since Wales beat New Zealand in the famous "Deans Try" match, and a transexual who ran away from the green, green grass of home to find fame and fortune singing in Las Vegas.

They brought me up on a diet of bacon and black pudding sandwiches, and Welsh Rarebit (no, not Swansea Virgins, I am not a character played by Sir Anthony Hopkins.) and when the time was right they sent me off to Cambridge University to begin educating foreigners.

With my PhD in capability computing having to be abandoned after an unfortunate experience reenacting the announcement of the discovery of DNA in The Eagle with the daughter of the Czechoslovakian Ambassador on a summer exchange visit, I went to work for a department of the UK government that can not be named, spending three years under cover living in a squat in Brixton learning to speak English like a Frenchman, that is, grunting a lot out of the side of my mouth that wasn't chain smoking ten packs of Gauloises a day.

My cover was blown after an unintentional appearance in "In The Line Of Fire" when, passing through LAX after a successful mission to clear Chinese spam viruses from the computer facilities at Mauna Kea, I mistakenly thought that the American President was in danger of assassination and killed seven stunt men posing as Russian spies. The Director kept the cameras rolling, and used CGI to superimpose Clint's face on my body, except in the two second shot where I am ripping out the last female operative's tongue, where you can clearly see my face reflected in the window of the Starbucks concession.

I retired from active service and settled down with the nurse who changed my drips for the year I spent in intensive care after that trip; no, I didn't get hurt killing the death squad, a brainless British Airways trolley-dolly (not my sister-in-law, although she was old and ugly enough to work in First Class) poured a jug of scalding coffee in my lap on the flight back. Yes, I know, it's astonishing, isn't it! Hot coffee on an airplane - wonders will never cease!
I now occasionally consult on "materiel procurement", as a favour for my mate David Reddaway, for the site that is blanked out on Google Maps just north of Milton Keynes between acting as banker, chaufffeur and chef for a couple of teenagers.

Pep (which explains why I have been able to post here fairly regularly, although not now, as it isn't worth it until the moderation gets sorted.)


  1. :::blinks:::

    Well done, but as usual your over the top style ends up foiling your tale in the end, thus removing all credibility.

    You had me here, then you had to push it with adding that you are Welsh. ppppft. As if.

  2. The thread has been pulled. Good thing you copied and pasted into your blog.

    And... good story!

  3. I still want to share what I was saying on other tread that was eated and spited .

    I'm almost 33 years old,my b-day is november 15th (because november spawned a monster in the shape of this child....), I was a teenager merged in art, I used do paint, sing, write... this all were (adn still are) my kind of thing, but culture and art are not so supported in Brazil at that time, then I thought I needed something more stable to work with, this made me turn my eyes for my other passions, logic and math. This is why I became an engenieer adn a gothic dj in my vacations weekends.

    This is an sexist career until today, but was even more when I started, plus this with a major catholic tradicionalis population that understimate woman and you earn a feminist hard working girl, with not so comom thought and philosofie.

    I had to work really hard to proof for many guys I was capable to do all they sayed me I wasent. Nowadays I'm not rich, but I earn a way more then the major part of brazilian population, this made my life a lil bit complicated on romantic relationship... since most men can't acept a woman that need to travel a lot working, or acept that is really probably I will twice more them him.

    Well, add to that the fact I was adn I still am a party girl, I don't DJ anymore, but I love the nightlife and weirdo places... just the younger in mind and soul can acept and walk hand in hand with me in this.... so I realised that I enjoy more yunger men then those with my age or older then me.

    My actual partner is 12 years younger then me and this make people point a finger on me disaprooving everything I'am.. but my way of life is somethign that they can do nothing but gossip.

    This is the major background of who I really am, I'm a fighter, I'm weirdo, I'm a nerd, I'm silly and wise... I'm just a girl...

  4. Finally, The King of Hearts reveals himself.

    Know that I know the following:
    1. The Mystery of Second Life.
    2. That you and I are not Wasted or the Spam.
    3. Trying to get 2 pictures got extremely complicated.
    4. Wasted has already revealed that he is a character in one post.
    5. Ann taught me how to survive in one post.

    If I told you there was an invisible war being waged...a cold war between the old kingdom and the new one....

    ...would you believe me?

    PS: Great post.

  5. Wow. Impressive. I may go sit down and put my own story on my blog soon...but it's nothing compared to this!

  6. Thanks for sharing so sincerely these biographical revelations.
    Sometimes...it seems...truth really is stranger than fiction.